Cast members backstage before the final scene of A Midsummer Night's Dream, 2007. Photo: Satbir Singh.
“Not that it is possible to “inflict” cancer on another human being, but I’ve never been able to say “I’d never wish what I’ve been through on anyone.”
Emily is the author of American Amazon, and answered my Interview Meme a little while ago. She’s 25, and a brilliant writer, actress & teacher. We met when she auditioned for my production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream back in Spring 2007. We were in this bizarrely named basement in Exeter College, Oxford. I was in a bad temper with my producer for booking said basement, convinced that nobody would be able to find the auditions. In fact, I ended up meeting two of my favourite people that day – Karina (Helena), and Emily, whom I cast as Cobweb / First Fairy.
I always end up casting actors I think I’m going to like, but who intimidate me as well. Emily came through the door like a hurricane – I don’t know if she was in character or just pissed off – and did the audition incredibly fast. She was very thin, very mobile, with amazing eyes. She and my Puck played opposite each other so well that their rehearsals were the easiest part of the process: constant insight & fun, with much directorial amazement at somehow getting two such talented people to turn out for me.
Ten months ago, Emily was diagnosed with Grade II breast cancer. She’s had chemo, a mastectomy in August, and is now back in the US & on hormone therapy for 5 years. This is not the most interesting thing about her, or the only reason you should read her blog. But it informs some of the questions I ask her, and some of the answers she gives. I asked her five questions — on cancer, mothers, poetry, lust and fame (one very weird dinner party) & she was kind enough to answer. The first Q&A is below:
1. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever imagined inflicting on another human being?
Cancer.
Cancer.
Yep…cancer.
Not that it is possible to “inflict” cancer on another human being, but I’ve never been able to say “I’d never wish what I’ve been through on anyone.” I’m not a good enough person for that. Because honestly–I would. In moments of extreme self-pity and bitterness I have thought “better you than me.” Not necessarily toward people I know, but toward pretty twentysomething girls on the street who seem so carefree and put together; toward stupid, senseless women who take their breasts out on television.
The most concrete, formulated wish for cancer-transference I had was in a Pret a Manger in the Hammersmith Piccadilly line tube station; I was waiting for an appointment at Charing Cross hospital, feeling sick and terrified, and I watched a woman scream at and smack her two-year-old child. I felt something so irrevocably wrong and unjust had happened in the world that I was the one with cancer, and she was the one with the child. It was also the moment at which I most truly and profoundly doubted the existence of God.
[for questions 2-5, with Emily's answers, click here to visit her blog]
The first time I meet a candidate or potential employee is at the job interview. Vice versa, very often the first person from the organisation that the candidate meets also is the HR rep. The job interview, for all its flaws, is still one of the most widely-used selection tools and we take it rather seriously. We prepare, we read the resume carefully, we block the time with no interruptions, we do everything possible to put the candidate at ease even as we look for the right qualities and abilities.
If you are appearing for an interview and meeting one of us, there are some things you must avoid at all costs.
1. Showing up late
Unless you have a real emergency, please please turn up on time, ideally at least a few minutes before the scheduled time. It allows you to take a breather, to settle down rather than directly jump into the interview, and it shows that you respect time. Which is always a good thing.
And if you do have a real emergency, call ahead, explain and reschedule. Trust me, you do not want to get into an interview with an interviewer who is already irritated because you’ve kept her waiting.
2. Lying
Whether you are stumped for an answer or are not certain how your answer will be taken, remember honesty is usually your best bet. Cooking up facts may seem like a good idea at the time but please refrain from it. Interviewers are trained in interacting with people and can pick up on signals that you are not telling the truth. Not only do you lose your credibility, you also lose the job opportunity.
3. Not making eye contact
Nothing is more distracting or disconcerting than talking to someone who refuses to look you in the eye. As interviewers, we find the simple gesture of making eye contact an affirmation of directness and honesty. By implication, someone who doesn’t meet our eyes and avoids looking at us creates an impression of having something to hide or being shifty. Definitely avoidable.
4. Not prepare for the interview
Before you meet the interviewer, invest a little time in finding out about the company and about the position you will be interviewed for. Mentally revise your strong points and figure out how well they align with the position in question. Dress appropriately and be well-groomed. First impressions do matter. The very fact that you have taken efforts to prepare for the interview sends a positive signal that you are interested and keen about the opportunity at hand.
5. Have nothing to say
An interview is your opportunity to convince your interviewer that you are THE person they need. Use it to demonstrate your skills, share your experiences and show how well you’d fit in with the company. Clamming up at an interview is the last thing you want to do. I remember asking someone to share his experiences in leading a team. He thought for a few long moments and then replied “Good, it was good.” Keep the conversation going, share information and you are helping the interviewer make an informed decision.
6. Have too much to say
This is the antithesis of the clam, this is where every single question gets an answer with a prologue, story and epilogue. Rambling on not only wastes time, it also makes you sound as if you are unable to pick the key points to formulate a coherent reply. Stick to the crux of the matter, be specific without being abrupt and share information without boring your interviewer to tears.
Now that’s not too difficult to do, is it?
Part II of the interview for Mendokusai… see part one for gushy-explanations.
Do you find yourself attracted to any certain type of doll? I’ve noticed that a lot of my dolls have somewhat heart-shaped faces and chins that stick out a bit, and they also have full/pouty lips (there are a couple of them that don’t, but most do). I usually avoid dolls that have flat faces (I really like dolls that have a lot of curves in their features) or small mouths.
What kind of reaction would you like people to have from your dolls/ photos, etc? I want them to see the character, not just the doll or mold. I like when people see Brodwyn and focus on her, rather than immediately saying, “Oh, it’s a MNF Ryeon!”
What’s your biggest strength & biggest weakness as a collector/ photographer/ etc? As a photographer, I just really don’t know a whole lot, and I have a really hard time just taking portraits. Also I’m not very good with artificial lighting and have to rely heavily on natural lighting (which sucks once winter rolls around, since I live in Alaska). As far as me as a collector, Hakari-chan says, “Weakness? Mustering up the energy to actually do a shoot XD and constantly talking your hubby into buying you new dolls… and and and *bricked* … Strength? You have a natural eye for good lighting in pictures I think, also very good at making the dolls themselves seem alive with the realism of the poses and what not.” (Well I was going to say my good looks and razor sharp wit, but that will do I GUESS.)
How would you describe your personal doll aesthetic? What do you like most about your own dolls and what makes them “yours” and you? Do you send your dolls out to be customized, or do you do it yourself? I prefer more realstic molds, and really am not a fan of companies that produce more stylized dolls like DoD or Volks. Buuuut really when it comes down to it, I prefer molds that have a lot of character to them and can show a large range of emotions, regardless of the company. I do the face-ups myself.
How would your life be different if you didn’t have dolls?Very boring… and frustrating… It’s nice to get some creative energy out through photostories and face-ups. And lonely! Since I wouldn’t have met my awesome doll friends!
Would you rather make doll accessories (clothes, wigs, props, jewelry ect) or pay for someone else to do it? It’s kind of nice to buy from other people, but it can get frustrating spending the money and/or trying to find something I’m truly happy with. It would be nice to make my own clothing but I ultimately fail at sewing.
Favorite Doll company? Fairyland… not so much the face molds, but I love the posing!
Favorite color of resin: Tan, Beauty white or regular skin? Do you like the more fantasy color resins on dolls for your collection (pinks, blues, greens, grays, etc)? Opinions?
I’m not really partial to any color in particular. I don’t have any tan dolls because I’m very careless and already regret having french resin dolls. I’m not really into the random colors because most of them look like bubbleyum… but if done correctly I think it’s a really cool idea. Most of mine are normal skin, but I have a few that are white skin and I love how much it adds to their character since they stand out that much more against all the NS.
Favorite size doll 60 cm, minis or tinies? Minis.
What’s your most sought after doll prop that you can’t find?
The aforementioned pirate hat. Urrrrrrgh. (Yarrrrrgh?)
What is your “dream doll” that you hope to own some day? The only doll I consider to be a “dream doll” would be Unoa Lusis. I love her but don’t have a character she would fit! I did finally get an Unoa after lusting after them forever, but Sist fit the character better.
What advice would you give someone new to the hobby?Don’t let other people walk all over you and tell you what you do or don’t want based on their own experiences. Take their opinions into consideration but still form your own likes and dislikes. Also, don’t just buy cheap dolls because you can buy three of them for the price of the doll you REALLY like.
Where do you keep or store your dolls?
In our walk-in closet, though I usually have a couple sitting around on my computer desk.
How do you relate to you dolls (are they art objects, toys, things, friends, muses, soul mates, investments, etc)?Um… art objects, I suppose. I’m not really the type to form attachments to inanimate objects (like naming my car/camera/computer/whatever) so they’re just dolls, though I will joke about them like they’re not. I have a hard time referring to new dolls by their character names rather than their doll molds.
Why have you chosen the dolls that you have?
I really like to see the molds from different angles first, and I especially like seeing them blank… I like versatile molds and try to pick dolls that I can do something really interesting with. Some of my dolls I chose for that reason, and/or I can see them really working well for a certain character in mind. I also try to find dolls that fit the same slim mini look so they all look relatively comfortable next to eachother. Sometimes I’ll see a really interesting mold and want to get it just to see what I can do with it.
Love to hear about the evolution of your collection. How did it start? What was your original vision and how did it develop over time to how it is now.
I started with a Souldoll Miryu, so I’ve always had mature minis… but eventually wittled down to the slimmer ones. Not much different! And equally not that interesting, woe.
Since you started, how have you noticed the hobby change? Has the hobby influenced your life? Compared to when you got into BJDs, have you/your tastes changed, has the BJD scene changed?
I notice a lot less MNF Shiwoos crossdressing in skirts and pigtails these days, and a lot more casual tiny collectors. It seems like people are trying a little more with their dolls, either through modding or photography, and more custom face-ups. It’s nice to see!
What outside skills or hobbies do you have that might have helped influence you in your BJD styles/collection/family? Is there a doll that you never, ever would sell, only if it was unavoidable?
Brodwyn, and Linus (Pipos Baha). I couldn’t sell either of them.
When you want a certain BJD, is there a limit to what you’re willing to spend/do to get it?
Hm… I would like to say yes, but who knows I guess.
What do people think the dolls will evolve into in the future?
How far in the future are we talking?! I don’t know, I don’t see them changing a whole lot. You already have “dolls” that move like robots and everything so I don’t really see that branching into this hobby. You get a few companies trying new crazy things but they seem to fizzle most of the time, and in general the only thing that seems to be evolving is the posing ability. I don’t see them changing too terribly much in the future!
Thanks to Amanda for the interview… and you all will be seeing a lot more of her as she uploads news items to Doll-Lite. A HUGE thanks for all her work! YEAY!
‘Twas the night before Christmas…well, actually it wasn’t. It was four nights before Christmas and Maylene And The Sons Of Disaster rolled into a snow-struck London to support Every Time I Die at the Borderline.
Coming off the back of a hectic tour with the Taste Of Chaos gigs, it’s amazing that these bands have got the energy to give it one last hurrah, and even more amazing to consider how they managed to get here, given that the UK had come close to a standstill. Just after warming up the tightly packed crowd in a sweaty Borderline, I spoke to drummer Matt Clark about the band, religion and hair-raising bus accidents.
The Only Thing I Know For Sure: How did Maylene And The Sons Of Disaster start? Matt Clark: Maylene started when Dallas [Taylor, vocal] left Underoath and was looking to go back to his roots. [He was] listening to Southern classic rock and combining it with the things he grew up with, like hardcore and metal. When he was trying to pick out a name for the band, he went back and looked at California. There was a re-enactment that went on every year about Ma Barker and her vigilante sons, from back in the 30s. There was a large gun down in the house, and she was killed with her younger son by the cops. She was a mastermind criminal, behind her sons. Maylene is actually a town in Alabama where Roman was originally from. We kind of wanted to use that background of where he lived with all the guys in the band and then fuse [them]. It’s like Maylene is our Ma Barker, and we’re the sons of disaster reincarnated. We’re here to tell everybody that there’s another way, you don’t have to end up in prison. There are other ways around doing what that story left in the history books.
TOTIKFS: So what is the other way round for you guys? MC: The other way round for us is just living as good people, trying to do the right thing and trying to shed some light on a dark world. You know, just bring positivity with a little country and a little hard-edge in our music. We don’t speak anything damaging – everything we talk about [in the lyrics] we hope everyone can gain something from, that’s always Dallas’ intent and purpose. So we live our lives as good as we can.
TOTIKFS: Is that something that’s been influenced by the band’s religious views? MC: It is. We grew up in Christian homes, and a lot of us found out for ourselves if we really believed and what we believed in. We consider ourselves Christians in the band but we didn’t necessarily want to pin the band as being a ‘Christian band’ because we want everybody to experience the music that we’re bringing out. Like I say we’re just good people. We’re very respectful of other people’s beliefs, and we’ll sit and talk with anybody. We never try to preach or ram things down people’s throat because a lot of people have got that for many years from a lot of other Christian avenues. We don’t feel it’s our job to shove something down people’s throats that they’ve probably already heard a million times already. We’re not going to say it any differently, so we’d rather just show people by our actions.
TOTIKFS: You’ve been touring for a while now with the Taste Of Chaos tour. How’s it been? MC: It was awesome. We’ve been over here for about a month now. It’s been fun, it’s been cold and we’re definitely ready to get back home now, a couple of days out of Christmas and we’re missing all the festivities and things that go on before Christmas! But we’ve been really excited to be over here and being able to play.
TOTIKFS: What’s been your favourite stop on the tour? MC: I tend to like the UK, but I liked Sweden on this trip. The fanbase there was really cool. We were playing larger venues with In Flames and Killswitch Engage. Even though we were on first and fans were still shuffling in they were really awesome. There were beautiful cities and it was one of those places were I’ve read and heard about it and everything lived up to it.
TOTIKFS: What happened during the tour? Any wild tales to tell? MC: I wish I did! There is nothing that stands out…well, actually yeah there was. We were involved in a bus accident. That would be our wild event! We were travelling at night and everyone was sleeping and we just felt a boom, banging into something and everybody in the bunk holding onto the ledges hoping we weren’t flipping! It was kind of a rough night, but we actually got to the show but we weren’t able to play because we got there late. That was a bummer, it was a good venue. It shook up our driver, we had to sit and wait to get towed, and got picked up by a public transportation bus and there was a lot of offloading and loading gear.
TOTIKFS: Was that the biggest accident you’ve had? MC: Yeah. Back home we used to tour in a van and other than tyres flying off we were usually able to handle it. That was the first time…it completely totalled the left drivers side and he said from where he looked the bus looked totalled. It was sliding down a guard rail so it took off all the paint and dented in the whole side of the bus and trailer. It was wild…so I guess that’s our story!
TOTIKFS: Did you get to do much sightseeing? MC: The one thing about bigger arena venues is that they’re based outside of town. So we’d pull up there and, beside the fact that it’s dark by 3 or 4 in the afternoon, just look around and there’s just space. But we travelled around Hamburg, and I walked around Luxembourg a little bit and we pulled into a really cool part of town in the UK.
TOTIKFS: You’re here supporting Every Time I Die – how does it feel to be on the bill? MC: It’s amazing. Those guys are really good friends of ours and we’ve had an awesome trip together. The last four shows [just with Every Time I Die] were really exciting for me because to have the two bands together made it more special than playing large, grand scale places. I tend to like these smaller venues; they’re a little more intimate.
TOTIKFS: So you quite like the Borderline then? MC: Yeah it’s nice! TOTIKFS: It’s dingy! MC: Well it’s no different than the Barfly’s we’ve played. This has got a little more character than the Barfly’s though.
TOTIKFS: So, talking about you guys and Every Time I Die, what is it about this Southern tinged rock that has something special? MC: It’s just something we grew up listening to. Today on the ferry they were playing music videos and Bruce Springsteen came on. It’s the same thing with him; he’s just got this sound. They call it an ‘all American sound’ but it gives you this uplifting feeling. We’re a little more edgier and harder than something like that, but I like to hope that when you come to our show there’s a sense of up-tempo groove, and everything involved kind of lifts your spirits up a bit and you can’t help but to bob your head and tap your toes. And that’s something that we want to achieve and maintain with the band. Every Time I Die is a little bit different, but they still have that same kind of swagger, and I guess you could call it that.
TOTIKFS: Have you listened to their new album? MC: Yes. TOTIKFS: What did you think? MC: I thought it was awesome. It was different to all their other ones. They tend to reinvent themselves for every album. It’s a little doomier I think, playing with that sludge metal sound a bit. I relate some of the songs to Torche, and I love it, it’s right up my alley.
TOTIKFS: You’ve got your own new album out [2009’s ‘III’]. How’s that gone down? MC: Good so far. We’ve had a really good reception and we still haven’t had any negative feedback, everybody seems to like the record. Which is good, because we took a leap of faith on some things; we kind of toned it down a little, and some of the other songs are a little heavier than on the second record. We were kind of playing around with the sound, especially what with some new members in the band it was their first record and there was a lot of nervous tension during the recording process because we didn’t know what to expect. But we were super pleased with how it came out.
TOTIKFS: What kind of things did you want to change from the past albums? MC: Not really change as much. We wanted to maintain the feel, but I think if you talk to any of the guys we always wanted to strip it down, make it go a little bit more rock. We didn’t really want to take too much away, we wanted to maintain the edge and integrity of what Maylene was, but we wanted to add some elements. We did some more banjo work, we added some harmonica – stuff you would find in old southern music.
TOTIKFS: What goes down really well live? MC: ‘Listen Close’ funnily enough, has been a real bang out on this tour. And of course ‘Step Up’ which has been called a single back in the States. That really hits, it’s got the bass drum pumping the whole time and everybody just wants to dance. That’s fun for us – they mosh, they dance, they dance with their girlfriend. Whatever it is everybody can find their own element of that song and get down with it.
TOTIKFS: You’re still a pretty young band in the grand scheme of things. Where are you thinking of going next? MC: Well we’re just starting to think about it. We can’t wait for the New Year to come along and can’t wait to see what kind of tours we’re going to get next year. But we might take the first couple of months of the year to sit down and think ‘ok – what do we have now?’ Just kind of sitting around a bonfire, throwing ideas at eachother, and that’ll give us an idea for where we go next. Right now I can’t really say; I have a lot of ideas in my head, I know everybody’s got tonnes of song ideas so there’s really no telling what’s going to happen until we get together.
TOTIKFS: Do you take a lot of inspiration from playing tours like this? MC: Well I think it’s inevitable. You are on tour for a month with some people, two months with others. I mean you tend to take elements, some more than others; there are a lot of bands we’ve toured with that a lot of people could pick up our third record and say ‘oh, we can tell you’ve toured with this band’. I think the elements are not so much in the writing style; if you tour with really good musicians they make you want to be a better musician, so you tend to pick their brains and get them to show you different ideas.
TOTIKFS: How do you cope being away from home for so long? MC: It’s one of those things that you know you’ve got to do. Some people get out on the road, they think it’s what they want to do but it turns out they don’t. I’ve seen musicians who’ve played the music, they love what they do and then they suddenly make a 180 turn: they want to get a regular job, they want to get married and have kids and they want to live the ‘American dream’. I was there – I toured a long time ago, and I got to a point where I thought I wouldn’t get a chance to tour again but here I am. I love every minute of it, but it’s hard sometimes to be away from home. But being an artist it’s when you’re at home you miss being on the road and when you’re on the road you miss being at home. You learn to cope.
Listen to ‘III’ on Spotify.
Originally published on The Line Of Best Fit.
With:
Fernando Ribeiro
Conducted by:
FreakyMarge
Published:
14.07.2009
Band profile:
Moonspell
Hot weather, nice venue with swimming pool: no doubt, we were in Toulouse, France, in one of the best venue of the country to do a nice interview with Fernando Ribeiro form Moonspell. The French Author Sire Cédric (who writes excellents and creepy novels with alternatives and metal culture inspirations) was with me, and we’ve spend a real good time with a deep, funny, charming and very interesting guy. Hope you will do as well while reading this!
- Marge: So, what do you think of the new Bikini (club)?
Magnifique! It’s wonderful. The bikini is a club with a really good charisma because of its owner and other stuff. I remember coming here and he stopped the sound check to lay a table for all of us to eat together, so it was quite a very familiar thing, it’s like what we do in Portugal. He gained our sympathy immediately.
And I knew about the “chemical plan”, the blow out (referring to the destruction of the old Bikini) and it took a while to rebuild a new bikini but I think it’s perfect: professional but also familiar. That feels very good when you’re on the road and safer than playing in suburbs infested by rats. (laugh)
- Marge: How does it feel to be on tour with Cradle Of Filth again?
We met Cradle in 1984, we’re both from the same generations we had the same influences, the same way of think things, we’ve lived into the underground golden times…Eventually on the road we’ll become even more closer. There’s no protocol on this tour, it’s not strict. And we keep the quality of conversation, not only about beers…But about life you know, we’re over thirty. So it’s great it’s like touring with friends.
- Cédric: You guys covered many songs. Would you ever consider covering a Cradle Of Filth song?
Why not?! We never thought about it. It’s such a close band to us and when you think about covering you always think about covering bands that don’t even exist anymore or very old songs…But I think it could work yeah. I’m really into what Cradle’s doing nowadays, like “Nymphetamine”, it’s a great song, I love this song, I envy this song, even the title! I think the difference is that Moonspell has very simple songs compare to Cradle. Cradle has very different structures. I’m always saying to Paul (Allender) that if we pick up one Cradle song we’ll make a Moonspell album. So if we could get that together it could be interesting to do something…The challenge would be how to sounds different from the original because Cradle’s very distinctive. You put Cradle into a stereo and you recognize it immediately. Paul played with us yesterday so he’ll probably join Moonspell on stage… it’s always a nice feature for the crowd.
But yeah we could do that, we covered so many bands it would be a challenge to cover Cradle, specially the vocals (laugh), coz I can’t do those screech. Only Daniel can do it!
- Marge: What represent the fact of being on stage for you? Is it the best part for a musician?
Well it’s different. Music for me is a kind of inner thing so obviously it depends on the context, but you can be anywhere doing music and feeling that. So, from all the parts of you can be, the stage is where energies are concentrated. It’s not theatre, because we’re not fully representing characters but it has the same principal of gathering energies. I write the lyrics, and speaking or singing them, it was like I have a script and all the band follows along.
Of course the Bikini is an awesome place but you don’t get these places everyday. Most of the days it’s like 23 hours for one hour of what’s really about and I think that the live thing, nowadays especially on those times of crisis is the best way the people can connect with the band. Nowadays there are too many middlemen between the band and the fan: there’s Myspace, Facebook…I’m using that myself but I recognise it’s a kind of a plague because people get to know a vision about the band very quickly, and it gets very strong and when they see them live it’s like “well it’s not what I expected”. It happens many times to that so called Myspace generation bands. And to put up a show, like we do and Cradle does and most of the other bands like Turisas and Dead Shape Figure it something that shows me…and I’m every time surprised by the commitment that the people from rock or metal have especially when they get older. I’ve see Cradle so committed and having such a great time on stage and the same for Moonspell. I think the road is not the best place to be sometimes but a live show separates the men from the boys, if you know what I mean. A good live show shows you can pass something to people in the way of a communion, I think it’s very interesting and when you form a band you don’t expect to have this, you are shy, like you are. I was, many years ago, but in the end you have to have a sense of show, because nobody comes to a show to be bored, there’s enough stuff to be bored already at home. And it’s a more comfortable bored to be watching a show standing.
I see all of this with enthusiasm, really, and I still haven’t’ lost it, even though a Moonspell tour is almost non stop like 6 month…We play every year at least 80 to 100 shows and then of course I like to be in a studio because it’s quieter…it’s a different exceptive, totally different world . But I don’t like to mix both worlds. I mean I can write on the road coz I can pick note book or a computer and I write but we never set up a studio inside the backstage. Backstage is to receive guests and to drink and whatever.
- Marge: You have already played at Hellfest two years ago and you’ll be there this year…did you keep a good memory of you gig?
Very good! Everything was very fast, we were planned for 40 minutes but I was great because it was very intense. I mean obviously Moonspell could play for two hours…
- Cédric: You should!
Yeah…we did that, our longest gig was two hours and 20 minutes in Lisbon! I think even the crowd was like “are we ever get the end of this”. But sometimes a shorter set like we played with Dimmu Borgir and Danzig in the states and we had 25 minutes and we felt like having a shot of a very fine drink. People were enthusiastic; we were not boring them because people go to see Dimmu and we get the best response ever, even in the States. It happened the same with the Hellfest, we got to pick a really…
- Marge: Straight?
Straight set, and it’s really good about it. For me Hellfest is the best bill in Europe.
- Marge: That’s good to hear!
It is. Better than Wacken. But Wacken has a kind of different vibes; it is already like going to Metal Land. The bands met up but not as much as the festival if you know what I mean. People go there for a vacation, it’s sold out. Headlines are not as strong as Hellfest. The Hellfest is really about the bands, and I’m proud to play with my favourites bands like Cathedral and some other bands I want to see. I’m thinking if I have time to fly for the “Crue Fest” (the Friday), coz I really like the new Motley Crue album, I think it’s brilliant and I would like to see it live…
So I have good memories and expectations are good because if everything goes right…now we have a different visual show. We’ve worked with a Portuguese artist that makes video, and it’s absolutely crazy, very good in my opinion, a lots of work, you’ll can see tonight and we’ll bring it to a larger crowd in the Hellfest and I think we’ll have a good response. We have to work hard for that response but I’m confident. We’re not playing at a lot of festivals this year, because I think we have 25 dates in the summer and it’s like flying everywhere. Once we’re playing in Norway, the other day we’re playing in Greece, the next day in Portugal, get in the van to another show…So this summer we are keeping it cool because we’re working on new material. We have a South and North American tour coming up and probably a European tour. But I don’t know, we’re still thinking about it.
- Marge: How can you explain the chemistry between the members?
It’s all based on drugs, and alcohol (laugh).What can I say, it’s like speaking about your own family in a way. We are four, plus Aires, which is a session member. Friendship is not enough to describes this, because I’m friends with someone else outside the band and it’s not the same feeling. I think we’re all grown men, and we know to respect and when to step in, and when to step out. And the stepping out is as important as the stepping in as this friendship can be intrusive, so we’re quite good at feeling this.
And I couldn’t see the band without anyone of us because it would not make a lot of sense. People sometimes center the band in me, but I can’t write music! So with my words, I could probably do books or something like I do, but I couldn’t do write anything else and music is more, for my opinion complete…we all depend on each other in a way, and it’s good to depend. It’s not so good to be totally free; otherwise we have our personality or freedom I think. So the chemistry…is not an erotic chemistry (laugh)…sometimes, but it’s great yeah! I don’t like to use the words like brothers, or family…we are a little bit of everything: friends, foes, brothers, cousins…sometimes we have to take the other guy to bed totally drunk like your mummy, you have to clean the puke. All of that is true!
- Marge: How would you describe the place of the band in your own life?
It’s hard to distinguish…obviously Moonspell is…my life. It’s what I do, it’s what I like to do. For me it’s not “you have to be professional, you have to do things with quality” We always try to do things with quality, but for me it’s much more of a passion than really work. I have passion for other things and music is on the top of them. It’s not only about being in a band, it’s about listening to music everyday, not only metal or gothic. Knowing what you are…the self discovery is really important and it’s a very long process. I couldn’t see myself without Moonspell even though it’s a scenario that obviously I don’t want to be seventy on stage, there would be meaningless. I think there many ways into music. I really like the songwriter stuff like Nick Cave, Cohen, Bonnie Prince Billy all of this. I think music have a future on that thing which is still dark and melodic, which I love…
Sometimes people say that I live for music but always forget that we live to music as well. That’s exactly what Moonspell does. We always try to be ahead of what we did in the past because I think it’s quite important. We’re not the kind of band that likes to find a formula, because in the end of the day it doesn’t’ exist. We’re just doing the right music and people are opening up to it. I don’t have really a logical perspective about being in the band because it is not logical. For me it was something that happened, like completely out of the blue. I wanted to be a teacher, I wanted to be connected to the academic life, which it very boring…but I like the teaching stuff, it is kind of a stage as well, transmitting something to people.
- Cédric: That brings me to another question though, you talked about growing up, and maturity…In the past every Moonspell album has been very different from one to another as you’re experimenting new things every time. For the last two albums, you look like you found your kind of identity…do you think you’ve found your style now (even though it was there) or at least what can we expect for the upcoming album? A new evolution?
Well, I think in arts, music, literature, whatever, there’s always two needs: you need to represent yourself, and you need to wear a mask, if you get my train of thoughts. For Moonspell, as we listening to lot of kinds of music and connected with other forms of arts, almost all my friend are practically from the art business, not necessarily music but theatre, literature…and I learn a lot from them. And I think seeing a butterfly effect was coming exactly all the time we wanted to wear a mask. Obviously this is a point of view of within side, as an artist. The point of view of the audience is sort of completely different. When I create music I’m one person, when I listening to music I’m another person. Obviously, it’s contaminated because sometimes I understand when a band is trying to go somewhere else: sometimes they succeed and sometimes they don’t convince me but in the end it’s not important, I respect the band, they always have a room for progress.
Like after “Memorial” I think with “Antidote” we shaping up our sound because we always wanted something that was heavy and dark because I don’t like gothic metal that was smiling on stage. For me that is not gothic metal, that’s probably something else. When I smile I don’t refer to the Gathering coz Anneke, she can smile on stage because she is like a light. For me, gothic has to be heavy, so we have the heavy parts coming from “Antidote”, coming up from “Darkest Hope”.
Then with “Memorial”, we said like we’re going to do a real metal album because we were listening to a lot of metal. We were turning back into being like teens again, listening to those old bands we used to listen to. For this album, “Night Eternal”, I think there was always room for progression because there was discussion within the band. The other guys wanted to do a blacker album, faster…I understand why because they play, and live is more impressive but I wanted melodic songs, I don’t want to go in a way that is totally metal because for me metal is just one of the parts of Moonspell. So I insisted a lot for songs like “Scorpion’s Flower”, “Dreamless”, “Spring Of Rage” because I wanted to mix stuff around. I think there will always be this wearing a mask feeling for Moonspell, but since “Antidote” we’re definitely more concentrated in being ourselves. There’s always a place for being progressive, for progression, but we are more considerate of being ourselves and I think Night Eternal is already more a fight: song like “Shadow Sun” for instance, it’s very advanced for Moonspell. Listen to that I say, this is something that a fan would listen, you would challenge them in a way, and it’s one of everybody’s favourite songs in Night Eternal.
- Marge: What could be the greatest compliments you would hear about Moonspell and what are the things you would never want to hear?
Well, the things you don’t want to hear you definitely hear those. People talk too much and act too little; I always said that about metal, especially when it comes to the forums and all that crap. It’s not going anywhere really. But that’s quite residual: they make a lot of noise but my question to them is always “well, why don’t you form a band yourself”? “What don’t you do a Moonspell like the way you have it in your head?” and obviously the part of thinking into working is a very long path, and nobody is willing to take it, really.
The good things, the positive vibes and for me the best compliment is when someone comes to me and says “Moonspell has changed my life.” In any way, whatever…”I met my girlfriend, I had sex with my girlfriend” has happened so many times, I should earn some royalties…People getting married, people cutting themselves…Music has a lot of influence, it happens a lot that people finding Moonspell discover other stuff like books through us. A lot of experiences, places, and the true fans want to go a little bit further; they want to understand what the band is about.
I didn’t came to music to change lives, I came to music without a goal, let’s see what happens. But the bands I like and the bands I’m mostly into otherwise they changed my life, like Type O Negative, when I’ve heard “Bloody Kisses” I have a different vision of love and pain. When I hear Bathory I have a different vision of culture and black metal. So it’s good when you have your own band and people react like this. I couldn’t think of something better. I can but…not in music.(laugh)
- Marge: In your opinion, what is the position of music compared to other forms of arts?
Music is very open. It has good parts and bad parts. The goods parts it’s that’s it’s probably the most democratic form of expression. A Moonspell show in Portugal is quite mainstream so there are people who have lots of money and there are poor kids. They just came from the suburbs and probably stole a wallet to come to the Moonspell show and I like that mixing because that’s reality in a way. Music has this.
The down part is that except for erudite and classical music, people always consider music as entertainment while I think rock and metal and gothic are definitely a culture. They have their own codes and their own lexicon and subcultures but I don’t like to sound like a sociologist talking. I hate this shit.
The others arts…it’s hard to get into them because they’re very seIective. In Portugal for instance, music is not sponsored by the government. But everything else is: cinema, literature here and there, especially theatre. So they are closed in their creative ballet and they forget there’s a crowd to see them. So sometimes they’re very snobbish, very academic and very elitist. I go to all kinds of shows and I’m welcomed there because they know I’m important and I’m in a metal band, something like that, but I don’t like the way they deal with it.
My girlfriend is an actress, and she’s not like this obviously, but sometimes we talk about it. So I think that music is definitely…when you want to reach someone, like fully, is through music, definitely. It’s much more powerful. Because it has the good parts of literature: the words, the codes, the message and it has the emotional things about the sound, the music itself. I prefer sometimes to read than to listen to music because it’s not so full information, you can put more of yourself in a book than in a record but its different kinds of stuff. You cannot really pick up a book and headbang. It wouldn’t be good (laugh).
- Marge: And how does it feel to inspire other artists, and authors like Cedric?
It feels great!
- Cédric: Seriously, you’ve changed my life. And you influence what I do when I write.
I don’t want to feel too proud about it because I think when people find a craft and find a way for that craft like Cedric is doing is because he has talent. And they could manage their influences as well. That’s what I think about Moonspell. If people go about our music they will find a lot of Bathory, Celtic Frost, Root, Katatonia and Type O Negative. I’ve done it not to copy or even to tribute those bands but to have our own vibes. But I think… if you don’t want to influence you’re not doing music.
Personally I don’t like those “oh I don’t take myself seriously, it’s all a joke” because it is! It’s just a form of the artist protecting himself. Obviously we are here to influence, and to create. Sometimes when it’s a negative thing we call it vicious circle but I think this one is a virtuous circle because it goes and keeps us alive. The fact that we know that we’re not preaching to the fishes or in the desert, there’s actually some people that listen to it. You know that hundred people or two hundred people will pick that very to the heart and ten people will make work of art themselves. People always think of a big picture with music but I think the small picture is what counts. That’s what keeps the bands like us or Cradle on the road, with ups and downs but constantly making good music and good shows. It’s the fact that we know about the big picture but the small picture like the guy that really takes it to his heart is the one that matters.
There is always bullshit about black metal and underground but they forget this thing, this very basic underground principle which is about the thousand people we expose and maybe one who’ll be a very true fan. It’s like…you know the film “The Perfume”, you know he kills a lot of people to pick drops of perfume and the very sense, I think that’s quite important for music and that’s also a very good reward for musicians. And for fans. For everyone.
- Marge: Night Eternal was released about one year ago now, what opinion do you have of it now, what are the qualities and weaknesses?
I’m really happy with Night Eternal! Honestly I think it was an album that we set ourselves to do songs. And Moonspell is about songs. Memorial was an album that was more like an album; you have to listen to it fully, it’s hard to explain but it works more as an album. With Night Eternal I worked very hard to make very special songs, and I think that we’ve done it, in my opinion. Night Eternal, Scorpion’s Flower, Shadow Sun… they’re all very distinctive songs. For me personally it’s one of the albums that come closest to the picture we have, really. With Memorial it was likewise. In this album I think there is the more enthusiasm but it has the songs as well. Obviously I’m happy with Night Eternal, I think it’s a very fresh album, with a very fresh sound, I really like the production on it. I can pick up stuff that we could had done differently but we’ve worked so hard and so detailed on the songs to be frustrated. We really did this work, very fine and clear work.
Obviously, we got to move on, even though Night Eternal probably is a biggest, I want to go to another place. I don’t know which, I’ve got it on my mind in a way but it’s hard to explain because it’s very fresh but lyrically I already have the layout for the album, and the concept, and the title. I think it will be, I don’t know…stronger than Night Eternal, I want to make a stronger album, very good guitar riffing and metal influences. It’s hard to say because it’s going to be a Moonspell album. The lyrics are already a step forward, very different from almost everything I wrote so far, more direct. I have been listening to a little bit of punk music, but I’m not doing social lyrics, I’m doing vampire lyrics with attitude. (Laugh)
From left to right: Moocher, Cédric, Marge and Fernando
- Marge: When you begin the recording of an album, do you have a very precise image of the final result are does the album follows is own path in a way?
Every time we got a more of a final picture. Every time it’s different. We don’t like to spend two month in a studio. That spoils the spontaneous feeling of the album, so two or three weeks is enough for us. Obviously we have to record in a very tight schedule and very fast but what we do nowadays is that…inspiration can come anytime so we’re always writing stuff, eventually after touring we’re just put things together and it’s a very cool period because I tend to name the songs, and then the songs are completely different. When you have a name to a song, the song changes completely into a song! It’s like giving a name to someone you know, it becomes a person or whatever (laugh). It’s the same with songs.
For Moonspell there is no trick but we do pre-production. A, B, C and D, and then we can have a bit of C, and D, and create a little bridge, that kind of composition that’s done with the producer one the pre-production and then what we do is make a set list and we play like it was a live show. We play it so we can get the feeling of the band, because then we will separate again to record, but when you get the feeling of the band, you already have it because we have played with each other. It’s not mechanical it’s human so…sometimes mike up, and I’m behind and all this is really cool because it makes the music more human.
And then we go to the studio, feeling great, having the spirit to record, relax and it’s much more about putting on tape or the hard disk and all of this feeling and not to think about the composition anymore, but to give your best anaemically and technically.
For a singer it’s different. I already recorded with some candles and incense but then fuck this, that’s bullshit, the inside it what counts. Nowadays I put all my lyrics on the window, so the window by the end of the session is covered with paper (laugh) and nothing else.
And probably I’ll record my vocals in Portugal because it doesn’t matter nowadays. When you are a kid “oh I want to record my vocals in a vocal studio” you can record in any place with the same quality, no need to go to Germany. You can spend more time home with your cat. (laughs)
- Marge: What can we expect for the show tonight?
A shit show (laughs).
Actually a very good show, visually the videos we’re using are meaningful. All the videos were seIected not taking into account what looks great to the eye but what make sense in the head, too. Around this culture, with the skulls and the pentagrams properly done…and the band is in shape which is good, and the set list is very good I think because it has the aggressive Moonspell and then it has the songs of Moonspell that we never get to play that much in France, so it’s going to be romantic…sick (laugh) and hopefully good.
Although the Detroit Pistons did end up winning the NBA Championship in the 2003-2004 season, the 2003 NBA Draft is still haunting them to this day.
With the second pick in the draft, the Pistons selected Serbia’s own Darko Milicic passing on elite players such as Carmelo Anthony, Dwyane Wade, and Chris Bosh! Not only did Milicic not play in Detroit, he has been nothing more than a journeyman throughout his six-year career. Playing for the Orlando Magic, Memphis Grizzlies, and currently the New York Knicks after his time in the D, his best statistical season came in 2007-2008 when he averaged 8.0 points and 5.5 assists with the Magic.
Not bad huh? Well, terrible when you put that in perspective of the guys he was drafted ahead of including Wade and Anthony who in their worst seasons haven’t done that bad. On the eve of announcing that he would return back overseas after the season saying that “The NBA for me is not the way that I want to be,” I caught up with Darko. He sat in the visitor’s locker room at the Palace of Auburn Hills with me to talk about his time as a Bad Boy.
Eric Woodyard: Obviously you’re coming back to the Palace, are there any hard feelings with the team or anything like that?
Darko Milicic: No. That’s the past. I didn’t play and they didn’t want me to play and I dont understand why they took me with the second pick if they were not gonna play me. I didnt get it but that’s the past and it’s behind me. So that’s it.
EW: Is it pretty emotional? Do you feel like you ever have something to prove?
DM: No, it was different for me the first couple of games because I used to be here as a home game and then the first couple of games to come here as the opposite tables it was kinda different so it was a different feeling. But right now it’s a different team and they have a different team and I already changed like 3 teams so for me coming here…I know I used to be here but it’s nothing like special or anything.
EW: Do you ever get mad when people say that they wasted a pick when they could’ve got Dwyane Wade or…
DM: They did! No, they did waste a pick you know why did they take me. Who knows if I really had a chance to play like these players that play like Dwyane Wade or Carmelo, those guys are incredible players. So for me, being a second pick, I dont get why they didnt play me at all and secondly they did waste you know? Why did they take me? You should take someone that they really think was gonna play right away because just taking someone to sit on the bench you waste a pick and you waste the guy’s time. You wasted my time for three years not playing so you f*** up a player and you f*** up yourself and I just didnt get it. So I just didnt get it, I guess they thought they were gonna be champions forever I dont know?
EW: So what was like your favorite memory here? Obviously yall won a championship here but do you have any good memories?
DM: Really, I didnt have any favorite memories of playing here. Like I said, I didnt have no fun on the court.
EW: Was it any one situation?
DM: I cant really remember. Nah. All those times that I did play, I played in the last couple of minutes in the game when they was 20 up or 20 down so I dont think that’s any fun for anyone. Not for me, I dont know for other people but I got a couple times I got to play in the pre-season but that’s it. In the Miami game, in one game that I got in, I had that dunk but didnt much come on the court.
I feel bad for leaving you guys for so long, coming back and promising to return, and then still having a huge gap in between posts. My last post was in December and it is now a new year! I’m going to try to fill you all in and share some sentiments of my life when I was MIA but, I honestly don’t know where to start. Over the next few days I’ll contemplate on the best highlights…
Anywho, as far as this new year I’m excited. I never make any new year’s resolutions but, I always set goals for myself. I still have not sat down and made it exactly clear what my goals for 2010 are but, I have a few things in mind. As far as 2009 so many people deemed 2009 to be one of the worst years ever but, I beg to differ. 2009 was a great year for me. Yes, we lost a lot of celebrities. Yes. I even lost a handful of family members due to death but, death is the only thing certain in life. I look at it that way. The truth of the matter is we all will continue to lose people but, how will we continue to live our lives? Will we honestly cherish them and live them how we want?
For me 2009 was a year where I wanted to do things and I did them. Somewhat, like Nike. For that I am proud of myself because there was a time where I wanted to do things and if a particular person or people weren’t on board I wouldn’t go forward. Well there is no more of that with me.
7 out of the 12 months in 2009 I visited a different state. The end of 2008 and beginning (Jan) of 2009 I was in NYC. In March I visited Raleigh, NC and received my first award for my other blog, The Fembassy. In April I trotted down to Atlanta to help my God-sister celebrate her birthday. In May I visited DC to experience their Black Pride. In June I visited Chicago and NYC. In July it was Myrtle Beach for a family trip and the whole month of November I spent in NYC with my love. I’m not stating this to brag but, I feel truly blessed to have been able to visit all of those places in one year. There are some people who don’t make it off of their block or outside of their cities let alone visit 6 different cities and visit one of them 3 times. I won’t even mention how I managed to take all of these trips being that my last name is not Hilton. I honestly am a struggling/starving writer so I don’t know how I managed to rub two nickels together. I guess that’s 1 lesson that I did learn in 2009: you don’t have to be rich in order to take trips. There is always a way and Priceline.com (their option to state your price on a hotel is the bomb).
Besides the traveling that I did in 2009 I was honored to be able to interview some of my favorite artists. In actuality I was able to interview and touch basis with about 75% of my favorite folks so I’m thrilled and I’m still in awe about a few people. I can also say that in 2009 I had a chance to cultivate new business relationships. Some of the interviews that I did have opened up doors for me to interview others and work on other projects as well. I can honestly say that I am no where near where I want to be as far as my writing career but, I know that I am making strides.
On a more personal level in 2009 I came out to my mother, she met my girlfriend for the first time, and strides are still being made as far as my family accepting my sexuality. I figure this year it can only get better. As I type this I’m coming into realization that I think I’m on the brink of fully forgiving my father for everything that he hasn’t done and everything that he’s did. I feel like with this new year and me relocating I just don’t have time nor do I want to carry around anger for things that I can not change. It’s unhealthy and I have other things to focus on. I just feel like it is what it is.
So with all of that being said again 2009 was a great year for me. I can’t remember anything awful happening to me last year. I hope that other people can say the same.
With:
Fernando Ribeiro
Conducted by:
FreakyMarge
Published:
14.07.2009
Band profile:
Moonspell
